Greed and Envy
by sonryz
Summary: A little series of recollections concerning Greed and Envy from a long time ago when the two sins were considerably more tolerant of each other. Rated for language.
1. Recollection :: Link

"...heh. You know, we're very much the same, you and I."

"Don't insult me, I'm nothing like you."

"Aren't you? I've always thought that envy and greed are _very_ much alike. Not in the way that lust and greed are alike; lust is more a _part_ of greed. A specialized form of it, if you want. The same goes for gluttony. But envy... Envy is very much the _same_. It looks around and sees all these wonderful things and you want them, don't you? You want them. That's what envy is: the desire for another's possessions."

"It's not. It's merely to be resentful of another's attributes. That definition is your own, Greed."

"And yet surely _you_ must feel the desire to have those attributes, too? If envy is to think, 'Why should they have it?', then surely the thought of, 'Why can't _I_ have it?' must naturally follow. The thoughts of, 'They don't deserve it,' and '_I_ deserve it,' must surely lead to, 'I want it.'"

"You would think that. Not me. I am Envy, not Greed; I resent the fact that others have things that I don't, and it is _you_ who comes to covet that which you don't have."

"There, you put your finger right on it! Greed is a desire _born of the resentment that is envy_. Envy and Greed come almost hand in hand."

"Don't use that phrase to describe us."

"And why not? Isn't greed very closely linked to envy? Doesn't greed _come_ from envy? First you resent, and then, almost inevitably, you want._'They don't deserve it, I do, why can't I have it, it should be mine, I want it.'_ It's one nicely flowing chain, don't you think?"

"I think you're bullshitting."

"You would. But I can see it, even if you're blinding yourself to it. Envy can only ever see what others have, and never realize, never appreciate what he already has. Much like Greed, yes?"

"...fuck up bastard."

"Hey hey, no need to be so cold, precious. I mean, _Envy_ and _Greed_. We, perhaps, are the closest in all the seven sins. Sometimes, we might even feel each others' sin in ourselves."

"Don't make me hurt you."

"Aw, but you love me, really!"

"I thought it was opposites that attract; too similar a charge and two objects will repel each other." _If we're as similar as you say we are, then obviously we can't be that close._

"Well, you're hardly agreeing with me now, are you?" _Alright, I take it back anyway; we're not _that_ similar. But we are also unavoidably linked. You can't escape me, Envy; I'll always be right on your tail._

"Then let's leave science out of this and just say that I hate your guts."_Nice and simple for your simple mind: Keep the fuck away from me._

"Of course you do." _For a simple mind I seem to know one hell of a lot more than you, Envy; you can't even see past you own lies._

"...hn. Envy and Greed, huh? ...Dream on." _No way am I bringing myself down to your level._

"I will. And don't you forget it." _That's okay; I'm fighting my way up, precious. Remember: Greed is always just one step behind, wanting, and waiting for you to stumble so I can finally take you into my arms and never let you go._

* * *

:: sonryz ::  
Just a little rabble I came up with lying in bed one night, not sleeping (obviously). It's only dialogue, but I have plans to make a little mini series off it. Sorta. We'll see what happens. It's a hard relationship for me to understand (or maybe I'm just trying to make too much out of it : S) but I'll do my best.

Apologies in advance for any major stuff ups and OOCness I may end up doing, I just really want to have a go at putting this relationship into words because I've found it really interesting recently and I think there's something more to it than first appears, and I want to try and figure out what it is by writing about it.

Again, sorry if I botch the whole thing up. --; Here goes.


	2. The First Time :: Greed

**--The First Time--**

_"I want it all, I want what everyone else has got, want it until no one else has anything left and it's all _mine._"_

( - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - )

The sound of his voice fades from my ears and I sigh, open my eyes to the slice of dusky dawn light cutting through the gloom around me.

I'm in the old place, the place where we always used to go. Maybe it's just so the memories can come more easily; maybe it's because, subconsciously, I've been missing it for a long time.

Fuck that; it all ends now.

A thought wanders into the temporary lull of my mind: Why am I remembering all this now?

I snort. Why do I even bother to pretend I don't know?

Funny that _that_ conversation should come back to me first, though; apparently this remembering thing doesn't always come in chronological order. We'd already got some kind of understanding then; we didn't exactly match, but at least we could tolerate each other.

Then again, Greed always did more than just tolerate me...

...stupid bastard. We were _so close_ to what he wanted, and then he went and threw it all away. _Stupid greedy bastard_. He just couldn't wait, could he? It was always such a fragile thing and now, it's nothing but a fine dust of shattered dreams and desires, mostly Greed's because mine hadn't even had the time to realize themselves yet.

And now they never will.

So now it's time to collect up the pieces and put them away in a box, to close the lid so I never have to look at it again, and then just... forget.

And move on.

And fuck it, this needs to happen or it'll drive me fucking _mental_.

And yes, I'll admit to that now; it's what this is all about.

So... this...

This is the First Time. The First Time Greed ever... how do I put this? Told me his heart.

That's the best way to sum it up.

And _fuck_ is it corny. Hn; story of my life.

Here we go.

And fucking _excuse me_ for the overuse of eloquent, poetic language I'm dealing out here; it's a package deal with the reminiscence, not my fucking fault.

* * *

_We were in the old place._

_It was a lot cleaner back then, neater, and lighter. There was no overgrowth, no wreckage, no sense of the ruins of time or neglect._

_After all, this wasn't the old place back then; it was just the place, the sanctuary._

_The Truce._

_But beyond that I can't put together any sort of setting. I don't remember what drove me there; I don't remember why he followed, or even if he did follow, or just happened to stumble across me crying in that place by accident._

_...yeah, I was crying. Get the fuck over it; this was a long, long time ago, before the monster in me had truly become so._

_Before Envy was _really_ born._

_But like I say, I can't remember why I was crying, or why I was there, or how Greed found me._

_None of it really matters, anyway._

_Just his voice, and his words, and his touch._

_Seems like it was the sound of him that I always concentrated on when I was with him; everything else is a bit blurry around the edges._

_Except his smile._

_He has... had... that face, that grin, that cocky little bastard grin._

_He'd always shrug his shoulders like he was some innocent bystander, and raise his hands in self-defence._

_Grinning that stupid grin._

_Then he'd do those stupid things with his eyebrows, shove his hands into those tiny pockets of his too-tight pants and grin some more, laughing at me with his eyes over those funny little round glasses._

_And it never ceased to piss the hell out of me._

_But it's still his voice, saying his words, that's the sharp knives digging into my effing mind in all the wrong places: emotion, reason, belief. You know, all the confusing shit places._

_So it was the Truce, and it was evening, and the sun was dying and the sky was painted with its blood splattering across the Heavens._

_And Greed was holding me._

_And I was letting him._

_...yeah, this was a_long_ time ago._

_And he spoke to me, about--yeah, I must have lost something, because he spoke to me about not being alone, that there were others who knew me, and still stood by._

_And I told him that was bullshit, because we only 'stuck together' because we had no fucking choice._

_And he said we did._

_I looked at him incredulously, there's no other word for it because the instinctive skepticism I have now hadn't settled in yet, and he was grinning at me and saying, 'Regardless, you'll never be alone, Envy. Even if you don't think the others give a shit, remember that I do.'_

_And I stared._

_And I think I said something along the lines of, 'Fuck off, shithead, stop taking the piss out of me.'_

_And he laughed._

_He was always laughing at me when we had these conversations._

_And he said, 'Nah, I think I'll stick around. That okay, grumpy?'_

_And I asked him why the hell he'd want to do that._

_And he just grinned his stupid cocky bastard grin and said, 'Because you have something I want.'_

_And I told him to fuck off again. What the fuck could Envy have that Greed wanted? Envy wasn't rich, or famous, or attractive, or talented; Envy was just envy, sullen and resentful and--_

_'Grumpy?'_

_He was laughing at me again with his eyes._

_'Like I give a shit. I'm Greed, right? I want it all, I want what everyone else has got, want it until no one else has anything left and it's all _mine_. And that includes you, grumpy.'_

_He leaned back, closed his eyes, the corners of his lips twitched upwards like he was relishing some private joke, some secret I didn't know yet._

_'I've had Lust, and it was fucking amazing, but you're something different; you're something precious. And I want it.'_

_He looked at me seriously, if that's possible; those stupid glasses always made me want to raise my eyebrows so high they got lost in the fucking clouds._

_I was going to say something sarcastic, probably swear at him some more, but he interrupted me._

_'Don't question it, precious. Just remember. Can you do that for me?_

_'Promise me you'll never forget, because I'll never say it again.'_

_I can remember how I felt at this point, but even now I can't put it into words; the words I need just don't exist yet._

_So we'll just say, for the sake of drama, that my heart seemed to stop beating, and the breath caught in my throat, and my eyes widened and the words dried up in my mouth._

_And that something in my chest that was usually so full to bursting of god knows what - because I was a lost little shit back then and didn't know _what_ my heart was full of - felt suddenly hollow, and painfully empty._

_And cold._

_Fucked if I know why.  
_

_Greed just smiled at my speechlessness, and closed his eyes again. 'Don't forget, Envy. Just don't forget. You're my precious one, the one I'll never let go of.'_

_'Your unattainable, you mean.'_

_He looked at me questioningly over his glasses, and I clarified, 'The one you'll never get your filthy hands on. I won't let you have me; you can want me to the ends of the world and back but I'm making a point now--no scratch that, I'm making a fucking _oath_, that you'll never have me Greed. I'll forever be you unattainable, because it's about fucking time you _didn't_ get what you wanted.'_

_He stared at me for a second, and then just laughed again._

_'Some thanks for my comfort, eh?' He touched the soft skin around my now dry eyes. 'But regardless what you might say or promise, Envy, you _will_ be mine.'_

_He took me by the shoulder._

_'But you won't forget, will you?'_

_I just scowled at __him and for the first time in the whole encounter he scowled back._

_'Don't give me that look just answer the fucking question! I'll never say it again, but that doesn't mean it's not going to stop being true. Got it? It'll always be true, even after I've had you. I'm Greed; my desire is insatiable. But I need you to promise me you won't forget it.'_

_I still didn't answer and he grabbed me, pinned me against the wall._

_'Promise me, dickhead!'_

_It was my turn to smirk at him._

_'Swearing at me's not gonna get you what you want, Greed,' I grinned, relishing the chance to gloat._

_He cursed, averted his gaze, shoved me roughly away._

_'Just promise me, won't you?'_

_Once again, I don't know what it was that compelled me to do so, but I did._

_I agreed._

_'Don't worry, Greed; I'll never forget. I promise. Just you don't forget that I also promised both of us that you'll never get what you want from me. Ever.'_

_And he just smiled, and closed his eyes, and murmured, 'We'll see about that, precious. We'll see.'_

* * *

...well. 

I kept my promise, Greed.

I didn't forget.

I never forgot.

But that doesn't mean I don't still _hate_ you for everything you've done to me, bastard, it doesn't mean I still remember it in the same way that I used to. Now, all it means is that you were a manipulative fucking asshole and I'll be glad to finally wash my hands of you for good.

Harsh?

True.

Fucking deal with it.

I'm sick of feeling lost and so full of a sin that isn't even mine.

* * *

:: sonryz ::

Well that didn't quite go as planned. : S

Thoughts anyone? Tell me what you think. : D


	3. The Second Time :: Envy

**--The Second Time--**

_"Looks to me like you've got the worst of all of us, precious. Lust is lust, and Sloth is sloth.  
But Envy is pride and greed and wrath."_

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_"I'm sick of feeling lost and so full of a sin that isn't even mine."_

Envy.

Such a complicated concept; the walls between it and other sins are often thinner than gauze. That's why, when I was first born, when I first rose as Envy, things seemed... strange.

Mixed up.

Especially when _he_ was born.

That bastard.

The Fullmetal Shrimp.

_Edward Elric..._

* * *

_'Hoi, what's up grumpy?'_

_It was Greed again, in the old place. Where else would we be?_

_'Nothing,' I muttered._

_'Bullshit. Spill, Envy; what's with the extra scowly face today, hm?'_

_'That,' I spat at him, and an image floated through the air between us: a baby, wriggling and gurgling happily in the arms of a man with dark honey-coloured hair and a small, sad, happy smile._

_Greed squinted at it._

_'Ain't that your old man, Envy? Who's the squirt?'_

_'His new son.'_

_Greed was silent. He may have been a jackass, but he wasn't stupid; he knew what this meant._

_'So he's given up on you, has he?'_

_'He gave up on me years ago,' I scowled. 'Only now I've given up on him, too, the bastard.'_

_Greed looked at me strangely. 'I wasn't aware that you were still hoping.'_

_'You aren't aware of many things, Greed.'_

_He smirked. 'Then enlighten me, precious. What was it that kept you hoping that your dearest daddy might remember you?'_

_'I'm only young, Greed,' I sighed, 'that's my excuse for now. He tried once; I thought maybe he might... come back.'_

_I averted my gaze, ashamed of having admitted to my too human attachments and emotions._

_'But he didn't.'_

_'Apparently.' I was feeling irritable now. 'He's moved on from his mistakes, and it doesn't look like he's going to be looking back any time soon.'_

_I felt my hands clench into fists and start to shake with the need to smash something. My vision started painting the world blood red and I wanted to tear it all apart, make even the rocks around me bleed and cry so I wouldn't have to._

_Obviously Greed noticed too and tried to calm me down, but instead of laughing it off he managed only to make it worse, the stupid fuck._

_'Hey, hey, calm down, grumpy,' he grinned. 'So your old man's got a new family. What does it matter to you, eh? You're a monster; 'bout time you cut those ties to your human self, yeah? You've got a new family too, you know.'_

_'Some family,' I snapped. 'A nympho, a pig, a bastard, a prick and an Ice Queen of a body-shifting 'master'! And I'm the monstrous freak with the palm tree hair. Like anybody gives a shit about anyone in this fucked up 'family' of ours.'_

_Greed gave me the Look, and I relented._

_'Oh fuck off, Greed, I haven't forgotten,' I said exasperatedly. 'But do you really think it makes a difference? We're monsters; you said it yourself, right? We're monsters, and monsters live alone. We're hardly pack animals, especially with all our conflicting sins.'_

_'Conflicting?' he murmured. He took my still trembling fist in his. 'Looks to me like you've got the worst of all of us, precious.'_

_I blinked, felt the rage seep out of me suddenly leaving me cold and cold and cold._

_'What are you blabbering now?' I asked, apprehensive and uncertain._

_'Lust is lust, and sloth is sloth,' he murmured. 'But Envy is pride and greed and wrath. No wonder you're so screwed up.'_

No wonder you're so lost.

_Our eyes met, and I felt something reach up from inside me and try to connect with something in those eyes._

_Those dark, sad eyes..._

_'Lucky me,' I scowled half-heartedly, taking my hand back._

_The rage was gone, but in its place was a vortex of confused feelings. Maybe Greed was right; I had to let go of these human 'feelings'. I'm a monster; act like one._

_A monster..._

_- - _

A horrified face; a hurried step backwards.

I reach out slowly, painfully, imploring the man before me, the man with the dark honey hair and terrified eyes.

The man who created me twice over, and abandoned me twice again, who gave me life, took it from me, and gave me monstrosity as a pathetic substitute for what he couldn't give back.

That bastard.

Hohenheim of Light.

My father.

- -

_I scowled. That bastard... that bastard would pay, pay with his everlasting life, goddammit! His blood would spill across cold concrete floors and stain my hands crimson and death._

_His life for mine; equivalent exchange._

_It's only fair._

_I think Greed must have seen this in my eyes, because I swear his lips mouthed the words, 'Pride and Greed and Envy and Wrath.'_

* * *

That time was the closest we ever got to the connection he wanted. 

_'Greed and Envy.'_

That's the closest it ever came to being real.

After that, things just went downhill, spinning away faster and faster until I finally couldn't hold him back any longer and I just... let go. And he broke away, ran off into the big wide world, that stupid grin still painted all over his stupid face.

Stupid bastard.

He got caught in the end, and it was me that had the pleasure of sealing him up in that prison of his.

He got what he deserved.

Because Greed was the only one who ever made me so fucking confused about myself. He made me feel... he made me _feel_.

And that's more disconcerting than you think, especially when you're only supposed to be born of one emotion, one sin, not four, or however many he said I had messing around inside me.

But he, _he_ was the one who screwed me up, fucked around with everything that I thought I was, tried to manipulate me into what he wanted. Well fuck that; he can go to Hell.

So since he left I've been more myself, realized what I really am, and I've been able to stick to it. I'm Envy, I'm everything, I'm my own fucking monster.

And pity the fool that tries to tell me otherwise.

* * *

:: sonryz ::  
Meh. Did this one work? Hope so. Again, thoughts and ideas and any other comments are all welcome; _tell me what you think._

A couple more to go: The Break and the Closure. Here's hoping they don't die horrible deaths. : S


	4. The Last Time :: Break

**--The Last Time--**

_"I want _more_, Envy. I always do. Surely you know me well enough to understand that by now."_

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_"Fuck it, why are you leaving now?"_

_Greed just grins._

_"Why, because I'm a greedy bastard, Envy. Why the fuck else?"_

_"But _why?!_"_

_"Because I'm sick of this dump," he replies, "there's nothing left for me here and out there, is a whole _world_ to be coveted. If I stay around here any longer I'm gonna get caught in a rut and never get out, never get anything out of this pathetic excuse for a life. I want _more_, Envy. I always do. Surely you know me well enough to understand that by now."_

_I scowl, something ripping and tearing inside. "So there's nothing left here, is it?"_

_Finally the bastard realizes his mistake._

_"Oh fuck, Envy, don't be like that..."_

_"Like fuck I won't!" I snap. "I thought you said--!"_

_"I know what I said, Envy, don't get me wrong." He's raising his hands in that stupid I'm-not-looking-for-a-fight gesture._

_Like it's going to help._

_"So what you said wasn't what you meant?"_

_"That's not what I said."_

_"It's what you meant."_

_"My God, Envy," he smiles, exasperated, "you're like some kind of rabid girlfriend, putting words into my mouth to turn me into some kind of monster."_

_I snort._

_"You _are_ a monster."_

_"Well so are you, so that's a moot point."_

_"Like fuck it is," I mutter._

_Greed just grins some more, and throws his arm about my neck._

_I shrug him off irritably, scowl at the floor sullenly._

_Childishly._

_Fuck, I'm being so childish._

_"Hey, hey, do you want me to stay or not?"_

_I'm not going to answer that._

_"Well then I'm going. There's a whole world of money, women and god knows what else out there waiting for me. Ciao, grumpy."_

_He's halfway down the corridor by the time I find enough of my voice to call out to him again._

_One last time._

_"...So was it true or not?"_

_Greed stops, and I can see the wry smirk painted all over his face even though he hasn't turned around._

_"You know I don't lie, Envy," he says. "I meant every word. But I'm Greed, precious; I always want more. Did you really think that having you would keep me here?"_

_That stings._

Fuck_ that stings._

_And I think he knows it._

_It's broken, now._

_And it's never coming back._

_The Envy overwhelms me, and the Wrath._

_And the Cold._

_He looks at me, his smile even wider and wryer as he lolls his head to one side, one hand in his pocket easily._

_He's not even going to try and mend it, I can tell. He's given up. Fuck it, he gave up on me._

Even _Greed_ gave up on me...

_"Don't forget, Envy," he calls, "never forget. I'm trusting your word on this."_

_And then he's gone._

_And I'm all alone._

_And fuck it, I never even said goodbye._

* * *

:: sonryz ::  
...I actually have nothing to say about this one. So say something for me, won't you? ; )


	5. Closure

**--Closure--**

_Here's the present I didn't get you._

_And the card I didn't make._

_Here are the words I should've said,_

_The things I found too late._

l - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - l

And day has come and gone.

The old place has become a place of shadows and ghosts as well as memories.

Memories that will never be remembered again.

I sigh, and glance at the fading rays of the dying sun creeping across the dusty floor.

It's almost time to shut the lid.

My body is aching from sitting for so long in one position; I feel like I've become a _part_ of the old place, with all the dust that's accumulated in my hair.

But it'll soon be over.

Just one more thing to remember.

Just one.

This... is the Death.

* * *

_I looked down on him, or what was left of him._

_I could hardly believe it; the shrimp had actually done it._

_Greed was dead._

_I scowled, glared furiously at the puddle of red on the floor of Dante's house and cursed._

_Cursed Greed, cursed Edward, cursed Dante and that bastard I used to call my father._

_Cursed sin, cursed life, cursed humanity and this irrepressible wrath eating at me inside._

_I wanted to scream and kick and bite and fucking tear the place down around me._

_I wanted to destroy, everything that had ever come into contact with me, and him, and that stupid old bitch who dared to call herself my master, dared to try and claim superiority over me when she didn't even understand how I came to be._

_And then there's the one who did, the one who dragged me back from the Gate and made me this conflicting creature of wrath and desire and hate and pain._

_The one who made me both crave and despise that which he took from me, made me need it and reject it at the same time: Hohenheim of Light._

_And then there was 'It'._

_Humanity._

_Humanity must pay for what it's done to me._

_Humanity will fall; __I'm sick of stupid, ignorant little humans. __I'll bring the world down around their heads and laugh as they scream and bleed and cry and end their pathetic little lives in misery and hopelessness, and then t__hey can all go to hell for all the shit they've poured into this godforsaken land, for all the crap they fed me in life and in death._

_Humanity will fall._

_My father will pay for all he took from me, and all he gave._

_And..._

_I looked again at the red water that was Greed, and a cold gleam flickered across my violet oculars._

_I grinned viciously and screamed at him, 'See? You get what you deserve, bastard! You want, you want, you want, you _lose it all! Every fucking thing!'

_I was still grinning, panting triumphantly down on him._

_'You always were too greedy for your own good; everyone knew it, even you. _Especially_ you.'_

_I paused._

_'You poor bastard...'_

_Again, the rage was replaced with emptiness._

_Cold._

_The cold _he_ always managed to get me to feel._

_Why?_

_Like I don't already know._

_But it's too late for that now; there's no way he can fill the emptiness from beyond the grave._

There's no coming back this time.

_One last pitying glance, one last moment of sympathy._

_And then:_

_'My only regret now is not being able to do the job myself.' I clenched my fists. '_Again_, the Fullmetal fucking Shrimp beat me to it..._

_'So this is goodbye. So long, shithead; burn in Hell.'_

* * *

Darkness. 

And in the darkness, regret.

And in that regret, the truth finally being acknowledged.

That I _wanted_ him to fill the gap.

That I wanted him to stay with me.

That _I_ wanted to be the one to finally send him on, to give him the oblivion he knew was coming.

I wanted that.

I _wanted_...

I close my eyes, feel a familiar wry grin spreading across my face, the ghost of something I thought I'd already said goodbye to.

_'Greed and Envy', huh? 'Dream on'?_

_You bet I fucking I will; there's no closing the lid on this desire. You were right, Greed; and I'm sorry._

_I guess I'll see you in Hell._

* * *

:: sonryz ::  
Oh _man_.

It's over.

It's over guys, it's over. I finished something that's more than one shot! XD And all within exam study leave, too. (Which means I probably should've been looking at those horrible maths sequences... -guilty-)

Somehow though, I feel I've failed rather miserably in this. : S The ending... I'm not quite sure if that's what I wanted; I'm not quite sure if it worked out as the right thing to be building up to. And the body of the series seemed rather... vague?

But I might be wrong. Correct me if I am, let me know if I screwed up as badly as I think I have, because

reviews

are

love


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